When Jealousy is Good
God's Passion
“It was nothing; you’re just jealous,” her husband accused her when Jessica confronted him about secretly spending time with a former girlfriend. A friend had seen them at a coffee shop together. Suddenly Jessica was unsure of herself. Had she overreacted? Even though her gut told her that something was off, should she assume that something was wrong with her for being concerned?
A good therapist would tell Jessica that her husband’s secretive behavior does indeed raise red flags. Jealous feelings are a normal and healthy response when the fidelity of a relationship is threatened. “Good jealousy” is vigilant about protecting “what is rightfully yours as a couple,” namely, the exclusive, intimate bond that you share with your spouse.
Healthy zeal for the relationship is a far cry from unhealthy jealousy which is rooted in insecurity and spawns irrational suspicions and obsessive behavior. Differentiating between healthy and unhealthy manifestations is important when we consider God’s “jealousy” in the scriptures.
A betrayed spouse thinks, “I’m the one who truly loves you and have sacrificed for you, have invested so much in our relationship. Why are you chasing after someone else, this false illusion?” These could be God’s words to us when we are unfaithful to him by running after bimbo gods. His rightful claim on us is even greater than that of husbands and wives. After all, he’s our Creator as well as our Redeemer.
What astounds me is that he granted us the freedom to reject him. In fact, he made himself vulnerable to unrequited love. The yearning, desiring, longing kind of love. For you. For me. It’s hard to grasp the intensity of God’s love for us. James 4:5 says that, The spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely. This envy is an expression of how much he desires you and me and longs for us to want him back.
It is an appropriate longing, for no one has your best interests at heart more than he does. You are his priority, and he has given you the Holy Spirit to fully support you every moment. He is wholeheartedly invested in your growth, in you becoming all you can be. He cares deeply about your ultimate happiness, taking a long-term view. At all times, he desires and works toward your highest eternal good.
And if you belong to him and he to you, then no, he’s not going to be okay with a rival. Why is he not okay with that? For one, rivals offer a counterfeit love, not the real thing. And he knows that such challengers are not only detrimental to your relationship with him, but that they will destroy you in the long run. And because he truly cares about you, no way is he going to sit by passively to allow this.
God’s legitimate jealousy causes him to rise up with holy zeal to contend for our loyalty. He will bring back the wayward wife and treat her tenderly as the book of Hosea illustrates. He stops at nothing to find the lost sheep. He was willing to sacrifice all for our freely-given love. Truly, he is a most worthy Bridegroom. Will we love him back? Will we be devoted and loyal as well?
Oh, what a beautiful, secure feeling to know that we belong to such a deeply caring and passionate God.